But the dressage journey is about each ride, each minute we are in the saddle, each minute we are in the stable, and each minute we are at home or work thinking about our horses. Whether we are working towards a show goal or a personal goal, whether we are doing difficult movements on an advanced horse, working on basics with a greenie, or developing our own skills with a school master, our enjoyment of each part of the process is ultimately what will make or break us as riders. When we enjoy each ride, we keep riding, keep learning, keep progressing, and in time, progress is inevitable. But when we dread each ride, either because we are afraid or frustrated or because we just don’t feel like what we are doing is right, if we don’t change something we burn out. We don’t give our horses the best of ourselves, communication breaks down and harmony eludes us. We all go through these tough phases at one time or another, sometimes sparked by an event like a scary fall or nasty spook, sometimes because of a stressful period at work or home, sometimes because we just don’t know any other way, and sometimes for no obvious reason at all. If we keep going, searching for that harmony, that partnership with our horse that makes riding feel so beautiful, we soon get back on track and find ourselves cherishing every moment in the saddle once again.

The key to getting through these tough times is to look inside. When we blame our horses, we put the control to make a change outside of ourselves, and lets face it, no horse is going to wake up one day and say, “Hey, I think today I will be different!”. But horses do change surprisingly quickly when we change the way we act towards them. A little love, kindness, and appreciation goes a long way. So does a little extra effort ensuring their comfort and happiness. We also have the power to change our approach, adjust our technique, or find another way of communicating our wishes. It’s up to us to make the change, to improve the relationship, to communicate better, and to create an environment for harmony and partnership to grow.

When we do look inside, sometimes it is hard to face what we find. This is how horses make us better people. When we are willing to look at what we might be doing to cause the situation, we learn things about ourselves. We might learn to be more patient, to be more appreciative, to be more trusting, to be more consistent, or to be more compassionate. And when we take these new insights and skills back to the rest of the relationships in our lives, it seems there are many parallels with our relationships with other people, and we can improve those relationships as well.

Discovering what it is that we need to change is the hard part. This requires learning to look at the situation from another point of view. Also, we have to look at the situation without judgement to see it for what it is and consider possibilities outside our normal perspective. Once we learn to view the situation this way, we then have to learn to give ourselves, and accept, our own constructive criticism. This can be a very hard thing, with most of us tending to either believe we are always right or else that we are always wrong or never will be good enough. Somewhere in the middle is the ability to humbly admit to ourselves that there is room for improvement and yet also humbly acknowledge our strengths so that we can build on them.

When we learn these challenging lessons, we gain valuable life skills that will allow us to more successfully work through challenges in all other parts of our lives as well.  Through this process, the challenges we come up against on our dressage journey turn into opportunities for personal development, slowly helping us become the partner our horse wants us to be, and with each obstacle we overcome, we find ourselves one step closer to perfect harmony with our horse.

This is why there is no “easy way out” when it comes to a partnership with a horse, and why there are no shortcuts. This is also why the most difficult horses have the most to teach us, and why “there are many roads to Rome”. True, we may all progress up the same levels, but we are each on our own journeys, bringing different skills to the table and learning different lessons. Each of our horses has different approaches to teaching us the things we need to learn, as well as their own unique abilities to share with us when we are ready. The mechanics of riding the movements on different horses may be quite similar, but the journey for each of us remains unique.

Speaking of “up to the horses”, my search for the perfect bit continues. Remy has a funky habit of opening his mouth and sucking his tongue back, which I figured would go away with time and good riding, but the other day I lunged him in side reins (which I almost never do, so I don’t know if/how it’s changed over time) and I was astonished to see him duck just the teeniest bit behind the contact and gape his mouth open despite all my efforts to encourage him to take some contact on the side rein.  This showed me that the problem went beyond riding him correctly, and instead goes back to a more fundamental level. He was clearly not comfortable taking contact.

Then, I had an interesting experience with Liam. I had been riding him in a regular eggbutt snaffle. He went well in it, but he had started putting his head up when I went to bridle him, which was a new behavior. I pulled out my bit box and offered him alternatives to try. We settled on the Myler comfort snaffle, which I had in a loose ring. He took it in his mouth and held it quietly, and we had a few really nice rides. Remembering how well he had gone in the eggbutt he was previously wearing, when the local tack shop had a sale over the weekend I bought him the same Myler comfort snaffle in an eggbutt. Well, he hated it!! As soon as I put on the bridle, he was fussing, and I tried a little ride in it but he would not take contact on it, except to stretch WAY down. Besides a nice stretchy trot, he just plain old refused. So I switched back to the loose ring and had a much happier horse.

It baffled me that the exact same mouthpiece could have such a different effect when changing the cheek piece from a loose ring to an eggbutt. I sat in the barn playing with the bit, then put it on Remy (who is awesome for trying bits on because he stands with his mouth open for me to inspect) and I realized that the way that it lays without contact is comfortable enough across the horse’s tongue, but when contact is taken, the shape of the bit changes to almost a V shape like a plain snaffle, except without the point so more like \_/ shape. Because of the way the middle piece links to the sides, the bit locks in this position, and it can only fold so far before becoming almost like a mullen mouth. The idea is to leave room for the tongue under it, which made a ton of sense to me, especially for a horse like Remy that sucks his tongue back in his mouth instead of keeping it under the bit. But, I could see in Remy’s mouth that with pressure on the bit, although there was room for the tongue, the bit pushed up against the top of his mouth.  Both of my horses seem to have rather small mouths and low palates (which I’ve read is typical of tb’s), so maybe this wouldn’t happen on all horses, but atleast for my boys I could see why this would be uncomfortable! The loose ring could lay down against the tongue more, whereas the eggbutt was more stable in the horse’s mouth and held in a more upright position, which the horse could not adjust to a more comfortable spot. It was very interesting.

So, since there was a sale at the tack shop and I want my horses to be comfortable, I went back again, and this time went straight to the most expensive bits. The Sprenger bits. The bits that always seem to be on the super fancy horses (not that I obsess over these little details in all the pictures in each issue of Dressage Today…).  According to the company’s website (yes, I do my research), the company has done quite a lot of research on how the bit sits in the horse’s mouth, and has designed their bits based on this research. It’s actually quite interesting. Their bits may look like any other double jointed bit, but they actually set the middle link at an angle to make it lay smoother in the horse’s mouth.  Their newest model, the Dynamic RS, not only has the middle link set at an angle, it also has a gentle curve, also at a bit of angle, to the pieces on either side of the middle link. It was one of the most expensive bits on the shelf, which is SO not how I roll… but Liam had clearly shown me that having the right (or wrong in our case) bit makes a HUGE difference… and Remy appeared uncomfortable taking contact even in side reins… so I splurged.

Well, in the first ride both horses went SO well. Liam had a pleasant amount of foamy lipstick (which he almost always does) and gave me a very steady, consistent contact (which he often does not), and Remy actually had a bubbly mouth! Remy always has the driest mouth, once in a while I get just a touch of lipstick on him, but even just walking around on a loose rein, he was stretching for this bit and making saliva bubbles! I was amazed at the difference. The second ride on Remy went even better. We had the arena to ourselves and did a bunch of transitions and lateral work, and I think we had the best quality to date. The contact was steady and consistent, and I didn’t have to work for it. He was staying through and connected, and he felt much more bendable than usual.  So far, I’m very impressed with the improvement.

The true test will be over the next couple of days. I’ve seen before where a bit seems really good the first day or two but the good result fades fairly quickly, so we’ll see if we still like this one in another week, but so far I am very hopeful! I am determined to figure out what makes my horses as comfortable as possible so that they can do their jobs happily and reach their fullest potentials. It’s no small feat figuring out what works best for them, but they do reward me for my efforts!

So this winter, as we dress in our layers of Under Armor and polar fleece, a few of us have been keeping it fun by coordinating our layers with our horse’s saddle pads and polo wraps. If it was a contest, I think Sarah would win hands down, she and Derby are by far the best dressed and have the most “outfits” of any of us. Liz and Cloud do pretty well too, as do Peaches and her girls. My boys and I do ok, but I have found the redheads a challenge. Blues and greens work well on a chestnut, and we can mix it up with white or cream, but beyond that we’re pretty limited. We do what we can though. Here I am with Remy in our “blues”:

Lately I’ve come to focus even more on the comfort part, except with less focus on keeping myself warm (which I think I have perfected almost to an art form now!), instead really focusing on my horses’ comfort. I think I’m a bit of an experimenter by nature, and of course I love my horses and want whatever it is that will make them happy to do their jobs. I always want to be fair to them, and it seems to me it’s very unfair to expect them to perform to their fullest potential if they are in any sort of discomfort. And, I love to read online… the bulletin boards and all the tack shop websites, I’m always looking at the latest and greatest that claim to be the best for horses.

Much of it I just don’t buy into. I mean, if I had an unlimited budget I suppose it’d all be worth trying, but otherwise, not so much. Lately I have found some things that make a difference though.

The first thing is the Fleeceworks Perfect Balance Pad.  I love this pad! It’s a fleece half pad with pockets for different memory foam inserts. I originally got it with the front inserts only to try to get a saddle to fit over Remy’s shark fin withers.  Now I have the new saddle that is fitted for the boys (and Remy has gained a ton of weight/muscle and doesn’t have protruding withers quite like he used to!) so I didn’t need the front riser anymore, but I did like the feel of the memory foam, so I got the full insert.

At first, I was really skeptical. The pad looks SO thick with the sheepskin and the memory foam, but once the saddle is on and girthed up, and then I sit on it and girth it up some more, the pad really squashes down pretty thin. The difference in the feel is unbelievable. Whoever named it “Perfect Balance” wasn’t kidding. It must have shifted my saddle by a degree or two, it’s really not visible, but the difference riding in it is incredible. I was really having to work hard to sit correctly before, and with this pad my leg just lays right where it belongs, and it feels so natural! I think it also helps to have a little more “bulk” to wrap my leg around since I have relatively long legs on relatively narrow-built horses. Having the pad under the saddle makes the horses feel wider, which maybe helps take up my leg, causing it to lay more naturally where it belongs?  I don’t know exactly how it works, but wow what a difference.

The even better part is how my horses responded. Both of them offered me their backs so much more easily! I don’t know if it’s because I was sitting better or if it’s because the memory foam feels so good on their backs, but their gaits improved and they both seemed so much more willing to really lift their backs and stay there.

The only thing I don’t like about the Fleeceworks pad is how big it is. The fleece extends over the front and back of every saddle pad I own, which I suppose isn’t a big deal but I dunno, it bothers me.  We are all allowed our own little OCD thing, right? Well I like my saddle and pads to all line up perfectly. So I’m trying the Fleeceworks foam inserts in a fleecy cover that was made for a gel pad. The foam inserts fit well in it, and the fleecy cover is about the perfect length for my saddle and saddle pads. It seems to be working well, so I may have gotten lucky with this set up. Ultimately, it will be up to the horses…

(more tomorrow…)

Here’s the logo on my beautiful new show pad:

(Of course Liam and Remy both entered the competition, still waiting to hear who the winner is!!)

It worked! I taught a lesson then had a great ride on Remy, and after a few hours in the barn, I was still comfortable. My favorite addition to my winter wardrobe this year is my new Smartwool socks. I have all sorts of warm socks, the kind meant for skiing and whatnot, and I have winter riding boots (Ariat Bromont’s – love them!!!) but these Smartwool socks are the best socks I’ve ever worn. Really. My toes are always cold in the winter, but these socks not only keep my feet warm, they also keep my feet dry, which makes a huge difference!

I also got the boys a new pair of Dressage Sport Boots.  I usually get the less expensive boots, but the fleece had worn off of those in patches and they started leaving rub marks on the horses’ legs, so I’ve only been using polos lately.  Today I really appreciated the quick on/off of the new boots. The boots didn’t rub Remy’s legs, and the back boots stayed where I put them! The old ones always slid down a few inches by the end of our ride.

After I got Remy put away, I was so happy to see that Liam was still turned out, and he wasn’t pacing the fence or getting anxious to come in. I left him outside to enjoy the sunshine and have a day off. After many months of coming in early because he got upset if he was outside for too long, it must be so nice for him to have relaxing days off. I’m so glad that the MagRestore worked as well as it did for him!

So I left the barn thinking how nice of a day it had been, even though the cold has finally come, and that it was the little things that made the day. Warm socks, new boots, and happy horses. It doesn’t get much better than that!

Well, that was where he reminded me that he knows more than I do. After all, he was born knowing how to trot and canter, I wasn’t. So I listened to him. When I put my outside leg back to canter,  he moved his haunches-in. Correctly I might add. So he had a point. So I put my outside leg back enough to get an inside bend, and considered my options. I wanted him to go forward, but straight forward into a canter. I already had enough bend. I closed my inside leg and he cantered off effortlessly. Now with my outside leg still available, I saw how I could use it to increase the bend, or move his haunches. Interesting. We repeated it again and again, getting smooth transitions and no longer missing leads. It was as if he was thinking “Oh good, she’s finally learned her leads!” as I got off him, shaking my head in wonder.

Over and over I’ve repeated that scenario with him. I’m trying to get him to do something the way I’ve been taught to do it, or the way I’ve always heard it “should be done” but Remy has his own ideas. When I get my balance right and get my aids right, he effortlessly offers advanced work. But when I’m not quite right there is no convincing him to accept my lacking ability. He trudges on patiently, ignoring my pleading voice and responding only to my aids, continuing to “do what I say, not what I mean”. He never seems bothered by it, nor does he seem interested in compromising. He is determined to make a better rider of me. And, when I really think about it, I am grateful for that.

He’s also made me realize just how awesome Liam is. Liam never seems to question my knowledge. Where I lack, Liam jumps in to help. He offers more than I ask for, and when I muddle something, he tries to make it work anyways. Now that I’ve attended “Remy school” for a few semesters, I am realizing that some of my difficulties with Liam as we move up the levels are due to his generous heart and “just wants to please” nature.  Instead of demanding perfection from me, he tries to make sense of whatever I give him.  So sometimes I can get away with giving a not-quite-right aid, but other times when I do give a correct aid, instead of taking it at face value, he tries to interpret what I meant and gives me something other than what I wanted. I’m realizing more and more how often that seems to happen, like in my counter-canter story from a few days ago. He knew I wanted to canter, he knew my aids were “wrong” but he cantered “correctly” for me anyways, instead of taking the aids as they were and giving me the “wrong” lead, which Remy is more than happy to do! Now when that happens, I’m going to try to remember that it comes from Liam’s generosity rather than naughtiness. I know he’d do anything for me, and if he knew what I wanted he would happily deliver.

(My guess is that link will only be good for another month or so, but if anyone is looking for this issue in the future, it’s the Dec 2011/Jan 2012 issue)

Reading on a bulletin board, I came across a thread about a supplement called MagRestore ( http://www.performanceequineusa.com/magnesiumtherapy.aspx ). It is a magnesium supplement that is supposed to help the nervous system, settling horses that can’t stand still (Liam, nodding his head, then shaking it, then nodding it again, or running back and forth in front of the gate frantically waiting to be brought in from turn out hours early). Another symptom of magnesium deficiency is super sensitive skin, which Liam clearly demonstrates. There are a variety of others as well. As I read through the list, Liam certainly didn’t display all the symptoms, but enough of them that I thought it was worth a try. It’s a $15 supplement anyways, it couldn’t hurt.

Well, after being on it only 3 days, a miracle happened. Liam let me brush him. I thought for sure it was a fluke, but now it’s been about two weeks, and I’ve been brushing him every day. He lets me pet him too! He still gets pissy when I’m about to do the girth, but if I go slow and wait for him to settle, he will actually let me girth him too! It’s the anticipation that’s getting the response now instead of the actual girth. I’m so amazed. I’m hoping in time he will stop even anticipating the discomfort, but even if we never get there, I am just thrilled with the change already!

The even better improvement is that he seems to have stopped running back and forth in front of the gate when he’s done being turned out. He will walk back and forth, or stand by the gate and nod his head enthusiastically at anyone who walks by, but these behaviors are not destructive the way the running was. Hopefully this helps him stay sound for another show season!

I think this sensitivity is a somewhat rare issue, but there’s another ottb in my barn that displays very similar behaviors so I know Liam isn’t alone and I had to share my success with this one. The company has also been wonderful to work with, responding to my questions and shipping very promptly. Two thumbs up!

Then, when something didn’t work, instead of working harder with my body to make it work, I backed up and re-schooled pieces until my soft aids were working and then put it back together to get the more complicated part. It sounds so elementary, it’s such a “well, duh!” concept, but when I REALLY made myself focus on it, some amazing things happened.

One piece I was working on was the counter canter. Liam doesn’t like counter canter, and he LOVES flying changes, so I really struggle to get him to hold a counter canter, and I think I over do my aids so much in my attempt to prevent him from doing a flying change that I end up making him crooked and tense and making the counter canter harder for him than it really needs to be.

So, usually I try to “sneak” in the counter canter by doing things like going around in a true canter and doing a serpentine down the long side with just a few counter canter steps, then I started doing a figure 8 around the arena making him hold the counter canter for half the 8 (basically a big 20+ meter circle) and then back to true canter… if we made it that far.

Today I decided not to work that hard.  Instead, I took him in the middle of the arena, made him straight and asked for the right lead. Then we walked, and I asked for the left lead. Then we walked and I did right lead again. We did a bunch of transitions until I could pick up either lead by lifting my inside seat bone. Ok, basics confirmed.

Then we moved on to walking along the long side, and I asked him to pick up a counter canter. He felt my request, he stepped forward off my leg, “hopped”, and cantered off in a true canter. I sat back and made him walk. I caught myself starting to leg yield him away from the rail to bend him towards the rail to make the transition easier and I stopped myself.

I made him straight and I asked him again for the counter canter, this time using a soft aid and nothing more, allowing him to make the choice and make a mistake. He made a mistake. He cantered no more than 2 or 3 steps before he was walking again, and I repeated my request. His ears flicked back and forth and I could hear the gears grinding in his head.  He didn’t need me to tell him that he hadn’t done as I had asked. What he needed to figure out was that I had meant to ask for that and didn’t need his “help” getting the correct lead. He thought about it, and this time he answered correctly and I praised him excessively. I let him canter a little, then brought him back to try again. It worked. We both relaxed, and quit making it harder than it needed to be.  Of course, we’ll see if I have a true canter tomorrow

The same concept applied in the trot half pass left. For whatever reason, it’s way easier to the right than the left. I think it’s me, but maybe it’s also a little bit Liam. In any case, I KNOW I can get myself twisted up in my effort to control every part of his body and try to make it perfect. So I broke it down. Left bend. Check. Move shoulders over off right rein (shoulder in). Check. Move haunches away from right leg. Check. Shift weight left and his body moves left. Check. Ok put it together. Shoulder in left, shift weight left, move back legs left. Check. Check. Check. The best three steps of half pass left we’d ever done, and I straightened him and dropped the reins and laughed at myself.

So, I’m making a note to myself. Make sure my aids are clear. Make sure he understands (and responds correctly to) individual aids first, then combine then. Ask nicely, and let him respond. I know he tries SO hard, I have to give him the chance to be the intelligent, creative, hard working horse that he is!

We all have those rides, and at least for me, I seem to “have a feeling” it’s not going to be a great ride before I even get going. For a variety of reasons, on some days it is just hard to settle into work mode.  Sometimes a bunch of deep breaths helps, and trying to relax is usually prescribed. It’s important to let go of unrelated stress when you get on your horse, and excess tension not only hinders performance, it is also exhausting. But TRYING to relax never actually seems to accomplish relaxation, in fact, the harder one tries, the more effort one puts into it, the further from relaxation we seem get!

So it occurred to me that relaxation is really not the state we are after anyways. Relax is what I do when I get home, put on my pj’s, and pour a glass of wine. My body slows down, and my mind slows down.  This is really not the state I want to be in to attempt any sort of athletic endeavor, and especially not while working in partnership with a 1,000+ pound animal.  What I want to be when I am riding my horse is focused.

I want to be focused on my own body, aware of my balance and coordinated in my aids. I want to be focused on my horse, feeling him move, interpreting his responses to my aids, thinking about his schooling. I want to stay in the here and now, not worrying about the future or fretting about the past. I don’t want to be thinking about the noise I heard outside, or the commotion in the barn. I want to stay firmly lodged in my own head, in my own body, and in my horse’s mind and body. And, when I am in that focus, my body also relaxes. My horse relaxes too. We communicate more clearly, we work together more effectively, and we get more productive work done.

So, now instead of working on a warm up routine for relaxation, I am working on one for focus. I want to get on my horse and immediately become aware of my body, and of his. I want the entire world around us to fade away, for nothing to exist but him and me, dancing together. And THAT is a very relaxing image!